Yoga Retreat in Sayulita Mexico

Yoga Retreat

Sayulita Mexico

January 15-20, 2018

with Marcy Midnight ERYT

The first time I went to Sayulita was back in 2003. We arrived with our newly shaped surfboards and landed there for a month. Sayulita was a small quiet fishing village nestled within the coastal jungle hills overlooking the Pacific ocean. The surf wave breaks on sand just off shore and was the perfect wave for us. We could literally roll out of bed and check the conditions. It was perfect. The town of Sayulita was very quaint and relaxed. We fell in love with the place.

We have continued to return to Sayulita over the years. In fact, Guy proposed to me there! When I had started my yoga teaching journey I had always imagined leading a yoga retreat there. I'd be in the ocean waiting for waves and I'd look up over to the big palapas on the hillside (Villa Amor) and would envision a yoga retreat there.

Nearly 15 years later, since our first visit to Sayulita, we return again for over a month to escape the January winter, to surf, to yoga, to chill. Sayulita has grown for sure. However, the town still holds its magical beauty and laid back atmosphere.

And I will lead a yoga retreat at Villa Amor!

This retreat will be about YOU and taking time out your daily routine, daily living to reflect, restore, and revive. And of course to escape January in Boise. I have intentionally left plenty of unscheduled time to rest, play, and explore. The town of Sayulita has many great shops, restaurants, there are nearby beaches to explore, surfing and paddleboarding!

About Villa Amor

Villa Amor is nestled at the southern end of Sayulita’s picturesque bay. It is only a 45 minute drive from the Puerto Vallarta International Airport (PVR), but a world away from the all-inclusive hotels, hi-rises, and cacophonous crowds.

Whimsical… Rustic… Eclectic… Magical. Villa Amor… A rhythm of organic architecture and natural beauty set within the most exquisite scenery Sayulita has to offer.

Villa Amor is an inspired collection of 26 oceanfront villas, each uniquely designed and individually decorated – a wondrous fusion of creativity and old world charm. Most villas boast stunning views of the ocean and coastline, lush jungle hillsides, and the surfing / fishing village down the road. You will never want to leave – but if you do it’s only a few steps to gold-sand beaches and a flat 10-minute walk to town.
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EARLY BIRD! (before Aug 15)
$890- $1025 Double Occupancy
$1330- $1630 Single Occupancy

After Aug 15 $1015- $1150 Double Occupancy $1455- $1755 Single Occupancy After October 15 $1140- $1275 Double Occupancy $1580- $1880 Single Occupancy
Price varies based on villa/room. See details below for more information about the individual villas/accommodations. What's included:

• 5 nights lodging at the gorgeous Villa Amor (includes paddleboards/boogie board rentals, beach towels, daily maid service, daily refill of coffee amenities, drinking water, swimming pool, awesome views, walking distance into town)
• transportation to and from PVR airport
• breakfast each morning  (I intentionally left lunch and dinner open because Sayulita is so fun to explore! However, there is a on-site restaurant at the villas)
• 10- 2 HR yoga sessions in the yoga palapa with Marcy Midnight
• plenty of time to relax, lay on the beach, surf, paddleboard and explore the town of Sayulita! 

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The Villas

(Click each Villa link to view additional photos and info)

Flores- SOLD OUT
138 stairs, ocean view, private pool, 2 bedrooms with king bed or two twins

Before Aug 15
$1025 Double (4)
$1600 Single (2)

After Aug 15
$1150 Double
$1725 Single

After Oct 15
$1275 Double
$1850 Single




Mar Vida - SOLD OUT
108 stairs, partial ocean view, shared studio space king bed or two twins.

Before Aug 15
$910   double occupancy (2)
$1400 single occupancy (1)

After Aug 15
$1035 double
$1525 single

After Oct 15
$1160 double 
$1650 single


Buena Vida -SOLD OUT
108 stairs, no view, shared studio space, king bed or two twins

Before Aug 15
$890 double occupancy (2)
$1330 single occupancy (1)

After Aug 15
$1015 double
$1455 single

After Oct 15

-->$1140 double

-->$1580 single

Linda
Ideal for a couple, your own private studio, king bed, no stairs, partial ocean view

Before Aug 15

-->$1630
After Aug 15

-->$1755
After Oct 15

-->$1880



Del Sol- SOLD OUT
23 stairs, private jacuzzi, ocean view, 2 bedrooms with king bed or two twins

Before Aug 15

-->$960   double occupancy
-->$1470 single occupancy
After Aug 15
$1085 double
$1595 single

After Oct 15
$1210 Double
$1720 Single


Mar y Sol
14 stairs, ocean view, 2 bedrooms with king bed
or two twins

Before Aug 15
$1006 Double
$1562 Single

After Aug 15
$1131 Double
$1687 Single

After Oct 15
$1256 Double
$1812 Single

Register Now!
or contact Marcy directly
208-484-6646   
marcy.midnight@gmail.com


Payment and Cancellation policies
Payment is due in full according to dates above. 

If payment is paid in full before August 15 cancellation 90 days in advance (before or on October 15) you are eligible for 90% full refund. If you cancel after October 15 and before December 15, you are eligible for 50% refund. Cancellation after December 15, no refund is available. 

If payment is paid in full after August 15, cancellation 90 days in advance (before or on October 15) you are eligible for 50% full refund. Cancellation after October 15, no refund is available.

Sahasrara Chakra: CONSCIOUSNESS

Consciousness, Embodiment, and Surrender. These are the words that came to mind as I contemplate the crown chakra, the 7th chakra.

What is consciousness?

An expansion of the awareness, the mind, the intellect. To be the witness of our own experience in the world. To observe.  Consciousness could be the connection to source, a higher power, to God, the I behind the I.

I am that, that I am.

I think its safe to say, that most humans on the planet today believe in something beyond which we can see, feel, and grasp with our own hands. Whether its found in direct communication with your God through religion, the spirit that moves through all things in nature, the spark that creates your art, the eyes of a child, in your dance, your walk, your talk. For the skeptics and the atheists, isn't the breath evidence enough that there is a mystery to the power of life? 

Where do you feel most connected? What brings you joy? When and where do you get your best ideas, insights, inspiration?

We all have our own way in which we connect with God, or higher power.
A balanced crown chakra, is so connected with the bliss of consciousness and understands that we are all connected beyond the illusion, that judgement of others falls away. All paths begin and end at the source. So, the journey does not matter as much as how much you are dedicated and devoted to awakening the power of consciousness.

Manipura Chakra: AGNI

The body is dense. It takes a lot of will power and action to get it to move, and "catch up" with the energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual bodies. 

Manipura chakra (third chakra) is strongly associated with action, will power, transformation and fire. More specifically, agni, the sacred digestive fire. Agni is the digestive fire of all things, including food, water, emotions, thoughts. In relation to the physical body, manipura chakra is located at a very soft vulnerable spot. Above the navel and just below where the lower front ribs join. Structurally, only the spine holds us together here. The rest is soft tissue and organs. To be able to stand up straight and strong, strengthening the core and spine is necessary. Fire needs space. A collapsed core, suffocates the inner fire. A strong spacious body is better able to digest, contain and integrate life experiences. When we feel weak and overwhelmed with life, our systems are not able process which can lead to lock down (fight, flight or freeze response). 

A synchronistic encounter immediately following that day at Wanderlust (see The Unexpected Awakening), provided a very helpful tip on how to ground and transmute excess or intense energy. I was inspired by Rod Stryker's teachings. So, on the last day I found myself at his booth purchasing his book, The Four Desires. As I waited to speak with him and have him sign the book, I connected with one of his assistants. I shared with her my experience, from the previous day, and what I thought was likely a kundalini shakti awakening. She agreed. She went further to explain how to manage it. "Send the energy here." She pointed to her navel. 

I've intellectually known this. But now I am able to apply the practice of directing excess energy to the digestive fire for emotions, excess energy, and life experiences. 

To practice this I visualize the excess energy moving down from either the crown of the head or heart and to the belly, and new vital energy rising up. As I do this a "wheel" begins to circulate the energy, transmuting excess, scattered energy into a more balanced purified energy. Inhale draw excess energy in through crown, exhale sending it down into belly, into the fire.

This practice is integrative. Mental energy is focused on the direction of pranic energy within the physical body; which ultimately leads to alignment of spiritual energy within the physical. Embodiment. Spiritual action. Spirit in action.

An Unexpected Awakening

Mantras, Beats, and Meditations with MC Yogi,
Amanda Giacomini, DJ Drez, Marti Nikko.
Wanderlust Squaw Valley 2014

Exactly a year ago I took the journey to Wanderlust, Squaw Valley. There I attended many back to back workshops for three days straight. One particular class provided an apex to my entire experience there.
It was divine intervention and divine timing. I showed up for the class I originally signed up for. The minute I walked into the enormous room I felt off. I found a spot to lay my mat. Which was easy at Wanderlust because you just look for a round sticker with some positive statement like, "Just love" on the floor, and line the top of the mat up with it. I got on my mat, followed the instructions from the teacher, which was weird. Because I wasn't late, and she had seemingly already began. There was no real beginning to class. I immediately felt ungrounded and confused. Now, this is Wanderlust. Wander and lust. Its like we are already given permission to move around. Explore. Eat from the all-you-can-eat yoga buffet. If you don't like something, look around, find something else (not that I necessarily agree with this sort of yogic display, but I chose to play with it for the weekend).

I have never before in my yoga experience walked out on a class. My inner voice kept saying, "You can leave. Don't settle." Right than, I saw someone get up and leave. That was my cue. This was divine intervention. So, I rolled up my mat and walked out into the fresh open air wondering where I would go. I remembered that the MC Yogi, DJ Drez class just started and it was outside and yogis could just spill over onto the adjacent lawn. So being late was no big deal. I arrived to the tent where yogis were tightly squished up front to avoid being cooked by the intense sun. I didn't mind the heat. I was just glad to be there. MC Yogi, his wife Amanda, DJ Drez, and his wife Marti were on stage singing, chanting, instructing, storytelling. I already felt the love radiating from this foursome. All in their own art form, collaborating to create a transformative experience. It was simply beautiful. The backdrop of vertical rugged slopes added to the magic. While holding poses we chanted "om mani padme hum" over and over and over. I don't recall what MC Yogi and Amanda told through the storytelling. But something magical was happening. I was communing with all the people present, with the mountains. I was communing with God. The God in all things. Something was stirring inside me. Something was awakening.

When the class was over and I was catapulted back into "reality". Even though I was completely blissed out, I felt a little disappointed. Like waking up from a really good dream. I found some of my friends. We were all blissed out. And tried to find words to describe what just happened. 

My friend, Corrine, and I started our way to the next thing. Food, class, nap, who knows. I felt nauseous. Really nauseous. I felt dizzy and disoriented. As we walked into the crowd of yogis, this feeling grew and I started to feel nearly out-of-body. My mind or body was grasping for something. I needed something cold. We passed the HonestTea booth, drank some samples. I decided I needed a full bottle of one (they didn't sell them at the booth). It became a short-lived mission to find one. We got about 50 feet and I could not function. I needed to sit, lay down. Anywhere. 

The beautiful, harmonic sound of a hang drum filled my ears. "There", I pointed to the dreadlocked man playing the drum. "Lets sit there." I was so happy to have Corrine with me. 

We sat down. First, tried to talk to Corrine and explain to her what I thought could be happening. Its the heat, I'm dehydrated. The ego is threatened by spirit and tries to reason. No, its the combination of Shiva's class this morning and this class, and the chant and...Than I just stopped trying to make sense. I laid down flat right there next to the sweet sound of the drum and focused on my breath. Big belly breaths. 

It could have been hours or minutes that I laid there when I finally felt I could sit up and function. Corrine was hungry by now, and I could at least get up and walk with her to find food. 

I was so thankful for this guy playing the drum, I gave him the only thing (besides my yoga mat) that I had on me. I placed a large quartz crystal in his donation bowl and said thank you with all my heart and soul, and wished him luck on his journey.

Divine timing. Its all the events, choices, hard work, the let-go's, the openings, the openings, the openings that come before the moment of pure synchronicity. And in that moment all is perfectly aligned.


To be continued....

Svadhisthana Chakra: Flow

Working with the energy of second chakra, we move slowly, like the waters of a deep and full meandering river. Or like the surface of a pristine mountain lake moves from wind gusts. Or like the continuous pulse of the ocean tides. Forward and back. In and out. Push and pull. Rippling, rippling, rippling.

Water, creation, shakti, flow, sensual, feeling, liquid. 

For the last month, in class, we have focused on the second chakra, Svadisthana, which translates to mean "self-sustaining". Gary Kraftsow, in his book, Yoga for Transformation, explains this well. He says that taste is the primary sense which corresponds to this chakra. We use taste to judge whether we like something or not. Taste represents the flavor of not just food but also relationships with "other".  It is a way to measure our appreciation of the essence of something. 

Feeling the reality of duality. When second chakra develops, roughly between the ages of 6 months to 2 years, the child begins to sense separation of Self from "other" (see Eastern Body, Western Mind). The outer world meets the inner world through the interface of the five senses and the environment in which we live. Desire develops. Due to sensory data received, we begin to seek things, experiences, foods, that give a desired feeling. One key aspect of the second chakra is the right to feel. With a healthy balanced second chakra, we feel for the sake of feeling. Pleasure, pain, discomfort, warmth, cold all of it. Without judgement, without holding on to any one feeling. 

Raw energy, raw information. Let it flow to fully experience the outer world. 

Allowing the continuous push and pull of feeling, emotion, and waters through second chakra we open up to experiencing and embodying shakti (creative essence) in all ways. Cultivating connection and awakening to shakti gives rise to our own individual creativity. As it awakens, we move upwards into the third chakra, into action, manifestation. 

Muladhara Chakra: TRUST

Muladhara chakra. The root. One of the most significant qualities of this foundational chakra is Trust. For me (and I know I am not alone), this has been a life long process of building strength, stability and a firm ground to stand on. 

Trust is subjective, until it is second nature. To trust implies that there is something to trust in. At first, I learned to trust in many many external sources. It was a necessary experiment in the journey that ultimately led me to the bindu point of my heart. I trusted my family as they reflected back to me, who I am and who I was not and who I chose to become. I trusted my yoga teachers. I trusted my therapists when she told me what she saw. I painted the word TRUST on the entire side of the garage.  I trusted the Swami in India when he intentionally neglected and ignored me when I asked for help and guidance. 

Still, inside I crumbled with fear and doubt into a spiraling mess. 

It wasn't until I had my daughter that the trajectory of my big lesson on Trust started to shift from a longing for external validation to an internal knowing.  Maybe part of it was I didn't have the time to occupy myself with so much doubt. It was no longer about me and my problems. There was no time to stew. I was responsible for another life. It was my duty and responsibility to ensure that this other little precious human could trust the world she just entered without an inkling of doubt. So the awakening and rebuilding of the root chakra began for me, as hers was only developing.

As we bring the root chakra into consciousness this week, my experience at the ashram in India resurfaces. As it was the most potent lesson on trust for me.

Here is a excerpt from a blog post I wrote during my time there:

How do we trust our experiences are real, and are for our benefit to evolve? How do we trust ourselves when we have been shaken, stripped down to the core, when there is nothing to hold onto?

Trust begins when you're simply so tired of not trusting anymore. When you reach the threshold of mental conflict; when you start feeling motion sickness from waves of indecision; when force feeding yourself something that makes your stomach churn takes away every bit of energy to hold it down; and when your head hurts from banging it against the wall so many times. 

"Enough already!" Screams your real Self. 

Once this trust sets in and starts working, it is ultimate freedom. Freedom from worry and expectations; and freedom to really experience life in its grandeur and beauty.

A Response to "Light On Life" by B.K.S. Iyengar

Sometimes we acquire a book by synchronicity. A calling, to be received and answered somewhere. And the universe cuts a path to make it happen.

This is one of those books.

At the time I was curious about the kosas (sheaths of the body) and the integration of all five as a true aim of yoga.  Somehow, without looking, I ended up with this book about the same time. As I started to read the introduction and into the the first chapter my response was "yes, yes, yes!"  It all made sense to me. Iyengar has a profound way of putting yoga into words that is so brilliant, practical, aspiring, and easy to understand. It is also very satisfying reading and studying a book written by a great master and father figure of yoga.

This is my third time reading the book and it seems to penetrate into my practice and teaching even more potently.

Integration is key. In fact, it means wholeness; to make whole. I believe this in every part of my body. Yoga is not yoga to me unless it is integrated. Integrated on the mat. Integrated off the mat. Integrated into relationships and how we treat one another. Integrated into what we put into the body. Integrated in how we think and how we love. Integrated in how we spiritually evolve. If yoga is "oneness", and integration is "wholeness"; these concepts are one in the same. The question lies in what are we integrating? What parts are we bringing together to make one?

"The yogic journey guides us from our periphery, the body, to the center of our being, the soul. The aim is to integrate the various layers so that the inner divinity shines out as through clear glass" B.K.S. Iyengar

On the mat, we integrate legs, arms, back, pelvis, neck, head and every part of the Self to move synchronistically into a pose. The practice is to make this happen all at once, to the point at which it is effortless. Physical alignment serves spiritual alignment.

Off the mat, it is not so much the body that we are moving together, as much as our awareness. Awareness of body in space, of the surroundings and environment, each other, thoughts, reactions and responses, drinking, eating, and driving. As awareness grows and expands it encompasses all things simultaneously. Ultimately, when we are able to do this; we live in presence, in the heart. In this place, no harm can be done to anyone or anything. We are in service of our unique dharma and the universal dharma.

How Yoga Changed My Life Part II

Prana Flow Teacher Trainees on Venice Beach 2007

When I first said to Guy, my husband, "I want to go do a yoga teacher training". Confused, he responded, "um... you don't like talking in front of people." At first, I was a little disappointed with his unsupportive response. But, I could hear my soul saying, "Yes that's exactly why I need to go."

Public speaking is a common fear. In fact, the number one fear for about 75% of adults. A real fear. And it dictated my life for a good 20 years. It wasn't just speaking, I didn't even want people looking at me including my family, friends and sure as heck strangers. As a young child, I cried when people started singing "Happy Birthday" to me.

I went to my first yoga teacher training immersion in February of 2007 to Venice Beach CA with Shiva Rea. I questioned my physical capabilities; I was nervous. I had already experienced some transformation through yoga, and now immersing myself in a strange place, with strangers, a new teacher and a lot of yoga I could taste the potential of a much greater transformation. The anticipation of this was thick because deep down I really wanted change.

Fear can be a great motivator for change. I didn't want to be scared anymore.

At the time, my yoga practice had progressed quickly and my awareness of Self was awakening, something kept telling me to keep going to class and to go do the training. There was a pull, a desire for more purpose in my life. At times, I would be in so much distress, to the point of depression, because this bound energy wanted out and I didn't understand or know how. I knew I had to do this training and it wasn't for the certification.

I entered the huge Exhale studio for the first time with about 70 other yogis. Most of us unsettled, fidgety, nervous about the next two weeks. It was then that I spotted a familiar face, my dear teacher from Boise, Jeffry (How Yoga First Changed My Life) . I felt relieved, comforted and surprised to see him. Right than, I knew I was in the right place. I spotted another familiar face. Micheline Berry, who I took my first yoga workshop from six months prior, which had a profound affect on me. Another sigh of relief. I immediately felt safe. Although at the time I really didn't know what that meant. But now, I can see that it was all aligned so perfectly because I needed the sense of security in order to truly transform in the experience I was about to have.

Even a small sense of safety while embarking into the unknown can be a catalyst for great transformation. 

We broke out into small groups for practice teaching sessions with Micheline. There were six teacher trainees and Micheline. It was my turn to go. My heart could have exploded out of my chest it was beating so hard and fast. I was directed to teach my fellow yogini the Cat/Cow vinyasa. She took here place on the floor in the middle of us all. Already shaking, I got up and stood next to Micheline as she was there to assist in the practice session. I don't think I was breathing at that time. She took one look at me. Everything stopped. She placed one hand on my heart, her other arm around me and said only this, "Oh my." She kept her gentle, compassionate gaze on me, while I stood there frozen and exposed while everyone stared at me, for what seemed like hours. I felt so contracted and tight everywhere in my body, especially my jaw and throat. Micheline still said nothing more, and just looked at me and held me in such a way that gave me permission to be vulnerable and finally, to let go. I stood there and cried at least to a point where I could speak. She guided me to begin. Somehow words made their way out of my shaking mouth to instruct my friend through the exercise. We finished and I took a seat and tried my best to be a witness to my friends while I still cried inside. This was only the beginning. The iron gates that held so much for so long opened up. Our session ended and I took my one and only "free pass" and skipped the next class, and headed to the beach. I laid myself out on the sand and sobbed for about an hour straight. If someone was to ask me why I was crying, I didn't have an answer. It just wouldn't stop. It came from deep within my throat. It finally subsided and I slowly carried myself back to my apartment feeling disoriented and tired, yet a lot lighter.

I completed the first of many training intensives feeling more than I ever felt before.  Opening to vulnerability allowed me to receive the yoga practice, on so many levels. I was full, overwhelmed, sore and certainly transformed.

This fear of speaking, of being seen, of being judged, criticized, of being honored, and yes sometimes admired that had choked out my potential for so long loosened its grip around my neck and my passage to self-empowerment had begun.

How Yoga First Changed My Life

Yoga started working on me in a basement about 10 years ago. I was looking for something more in yoga, and I found it. Jeffry Clark, an amazing yoga teacher, started leading yoga classes in his beautifully renovated basement room. My yoga experience up until than consisted of Iyengar, Ashtanga, and classes at the YMCA. Jeffry's classes were something I had never experienced before. The movements were connected, organic, graceful and choreographed with music and inspiring words. I went every Friday morning. After a few months, I started to notice how strange I felt after class. First of all, noticing how I felt was something new. Second, the feeling I was having was confusing. It was not the post yoga bliss that we often feel from yoga (at this point I didn't know the difference). It was like something was opening inside me, something was stirring and I didn't know what it was. When I would practice on my own at home, tears would come. Real tears of release. It was confusing. It was amazing! I felt lighter after every practice. I was beginning to feel. The icebergs around my heart were melting. My muscles, asleep from years of disintegration, were waking up. For a long time, sadness dominated my emotional body. There was a very deep well of tears that took several years to run dry.

Yoga gave me permission to be vulnerable, to be seen and heard. No masks, no pretension, no shields, no walls. Raw and real. A ripple effect of tears, repressed anger, love, and compassion.

Yoga brought attention to a neglected, undernourished body; yoga ignited a collapsing core; yoga opened me up in big expressive ways. 

The dictionary says vulnerability is "to be open to attack, to be easily hurt". To me, there is so much more behind this simple definition. To be vulnerable, at first, indeed feels risky and scary because of the high potential for being hurt physically, emotionally, or mentally; especially if there is a memory of being hurt. If we are living in perceived unsafe circumstances, we are in fear; and our primal brain defaults to fight or flight, and we do what we need to in order to survive. If we operate purely from this reptilian brain, whether safe or not, we remain in our conditioned ways of learning to just survive.
Yoga gave me a safe place. 

At first, I experienced some discomfort and pain in my body. But, yoga was not the cause of pain, I believe it was the awakening process of dormant emotions stored in my body that were now asking to be recognized and released. Stepping into this fire of vulnerability, in a safe way, has led to many big moments of transformation and over time has re-wired neuro pathways. These experiences have taught me how to engage, whether it is my thigh muscles or with the person in front of me. Yes, I risk being judged, criticized, falling on my face, or maybe even loved. But, I know when I am truly safe and I must trust that to engage with life, inner and outer, is to live a life that is more rich, more full, more connected, more vibrant and a lot less lonely.

(If you are not one of the 14 million who has already heard this….this is a great TEDtalk on vulnerability by Brene Brown.)

"Fierce Medicine"

Just finished reading Fierce Medicine, by Ana Forest, creator of Forest Yoga and teacher for 35+ years. Each chapter begins with a intriguing story from her life and includes specific yoga practices related to her experience and huge life lessons she learned during that time in her life. This book is for anyone who is curious about spirituality, the human experience and the incredible healing power of yoga.

What I found so amazing about her life story was her capacity to endure so much pain on all levels. Yet, her spirit kept calling her back to something more, something greater than each painful experience.  She learned to stand up against physical abuse as a child. She stood up against the ridicule and bullying at school. She got kicked in the face a lot by horses, yet learned to tame them. Also at a very young age, she was able to recognize and follow a small crack of beauty in a life full of darkness and despair. She lived through her own attempt at suicide; subsequently started to believe that her life had a purpose.

Pain is a messenger. Pain can manifest as traumas stuck in the body.  Ana asks her students to hold specific poses for minutes until they come face to face with their deeply rooted fears and traumas. As a result they are able to work through them and release their grip. Its not about forcing the body to do things beyond its limits. This practice can be very effective for those of us who tend to shut down and numb out; its about awakening the muscles and stored emotions.

Reading her book has asked me, personally, to look at the pain I experience, in a new way. This pain occurs in a couple places in my back and is sometimes heightened following a physically challenging yoga practice. Still, I am not convinced that I need to give up certain yoga practices because of it. So the question I now ask myself is, "can I be with the pain, listen to it, work with it and persevere to see if I can move it through?" But, being mindful not to just endure the pain or push beyond limits. Maybe it requires that I hold full wheel pose for five more conscious breaths. I don't know for sure. But I am willing to experiment. 

Procrastination

What are you waiting for?

Seeking, grasping for a magic cure,

To be whole.

How long will you put off feeling good?

A perfect circumstance, the right person.

A slave to doubt, to jealousy, to others.

Expecting, wanting, never getting.

A victim to your minds’ shadow.

When will you rise up from your own brutality?

The time will never be perfect.

But today is a fine place to start.

The sunrise does not hesitate to fill darkness.

The soul's fire wants this too.

Invite it to breathe through every pore.
Metamorphose barnacles of fear
To light you up, to carry you
Forth as wholeness, always.

The world will not change for you,
and the world can wait no longer for you.
We need who you are now!

Opportunity: A Favorable Juncture of Circumstance.

To fearlessly behold all opportunity to live the most radiant, integrate and truthful life possible.

This I want for the rest of my life, not just 2014.

How often do we wake up thinking of the all the opportunities that we will encounter today; opportunities for growth, for alignment of truth, for increasing our vitality? The opportunities abound! Every moment, every choice, every conflict, every thought, every spoken word, every move, every single breath is an opportunity to live within truth, integrity, and to live our fullest life possible. 

This dedication surfaced during some reflection on the past year and many years prior; and looking at some pivotal points in my life. It became clear to me that during serious transformational experiences or choice points, conscious or not, I would become paralyzed with fear. So much that it removed me from the experience, unable to be present in the situation and therefore unable to take in the experience, and connect with the people present. Resulting in more disconnection and isolation, leaving me only able to reflect on it, trying to re-live it through my mind.

When I traveled to India about five years ago there were many missed opportunities. I was so laced with fear in many ways, that I found myself lost and confused. After about three intense weeks at an ashram I finally gained enough courage to leave earlier than planned and headed down the mountain to the city of Madurai. I stayed there for two days to adjust to flow of India before I setting off on a more adventurous journey through South India. I spent the majority of my time in Madurai at the Meenakshi Amman temple. I was so drawn to this temple. All I wanted to do was go there, and be in the womb of its beauty, protection and serenity. I knew in my heart this temple is very significant for devout Hindus and Shiva worshippers. But I didn't understand anything. The paintings, the detailed carvings on pillars and walls, the chanting, the long lines of Hindus. So I would just go in and sit and gaze (at one point I decided to see what the long line was about. So I waited, and waited for about two hours. Only to be turned away from entering the heart of the temple, the shrine, because I wasn't Hindu). Now, years later, I'm browsing through my teachers newly published book, Tending the Heart Fire.  Beautiful photos of the Shiva temple (not the same temple I was at) in Tamil Nadu stirs something inside me. I immediately reflect on my experience at the Meenakshi Temple. How much time I spent there, how I longed to be there, how I longed for connection to it. And how little I know or understand it. 

The point is not to know all the facts about this temple. But that my heart wanted to be there. And that yes, it was good enough that I would sit, enjoy it and it remained a mystery. The point is, fear prevented me from simply hiring a guide, asking questions and thus held me back from being able to experience its depth, and its spiritual significance and making a connection to my hearts pull.

There is legitimate fear, and illegitimate fear. I recognize both in situations that are changeable and transformative (life basically) in relation to being vulnerable. The question is, am I safe? If the answer is yes, than its time to face the fear and open to vulnerability and a little discomfort. For than the opportunity for transformation can be welcomed and assimilated. Vulnerability, I believe, comes from the heart and not the mind. And anytime we can live in the heart, connections to others, places, circumstances are made.

If opportunity, is a favorable juncture of circumstance (according to Merriam-Webster dictionary), than it must be a perfect aligning of time, space, the heart and soul that is potent and ripe for insight, inspiration, transformation, and connection with Divine Truth. Where the universal soul and the individual soul perfectly align, and Divine Light shines and radiates at its highest frequency.

I am less fearful now of many things. Most of all, myself. So this year I am fully welcoming all favorable junctures of circumstance for being and celebrating my divine Self, and I will cultivate a keen awareness for these circumstances. 

Welcome 2014!

I Am Yoga

I am grateful for the beautiful teachers that I have in my life. In the last few weeks I have received the most profound teaching there is from multiple teachers. Strangely showing up just about the same time. 

First, so hum meditation reintroduced to me by my mentor, healer, guide and friend. Of course this is not the first encounter with this meditation. I have intellectually known about it for as long as I've been studying yoga, but have never really considered practicing it, until now. So hum is sanskrit for "I am that". That, being all of creation, God, the source, spirit, the light. Also, the rhythm of so hum coincides with the rhythm of the breath. To practice this meditation, as you inhale, say "so" internally, as you exhale say "hum". When I practice this now, I immediately shift from the thinking mind to my body, and to my inner light of being. And I know that this was not easily accessible if I was to practice it say, one or five years ago. I can actually feel it now. 

To read more about so hum meditation, check out this article written by, my primary teacher Shiva. 

Secondly, I was able to receive the "I am that" during my own practice. However, it was my dear friend and massage therapist, who suggested that when I go to practice yoga that I try to really receive yoga in my body, to unify with yoga, rather than doing or separating myself from the practice. A few days after our session, I went to my mat and invoked the sankalpa, "thank you yoga, I love you, I receive your teachings." Finishing in the end with seated meditation the overwhelming message was, "I am yoga". Which at first was sort of a "duh", because yoga being unity, and the yoking of all layers of the Self to integrate into One. The message was profound because, this was not the common language used when practicing. Most often, my mind is thinking, "I am doing yoga," and usually still in the ego saying, "If I do this pose, than I will be better." When "I am yoga" mantra plays out, I notice my mind slows down, I am truly listening to my body, the practice becomes more aligned with what I need at the time and creative energy flows more naturally.

Thirdly, Wayne Dyer. I came across a talk he presented at Wanderlust Speakeasy last year. This was my first encounter with this amazing teacher. Its funny how simple and perhaps elementary his teachings are for the spiritually awakened. But what I am finding out is, there is a huge difference between knowing something and feeling something. When the lesson is learned and embodied than it is truly integrated and can have profound affects. Thinking positive is not enough. I need to feel positive.

Here is the link for the talk: Wayne Dyer at Wanderlust

To truly receive, we must be able to ease open the walls that we have built around us that we have used as protection. These walls once served a purpose and perhaps still do. Before releasing these protective shields, we first need to build a strong center within our Self, within our heart, before breaking open. We must be ready. It might take ten years or one. When our soul longs to reach out and interact with other souls, to reflect on itself, to experience this embodiment; the walls, big or small, need come down and we are ready to receive. When the body, the mind, the heart and spirit are ready to let go of the holding, a new world opens up. Manifestation becomes possible, abundance is prevalent, anything is possible when communing with the One or all of creation. The simple meditation of so hum is communing with the One and only, and can be very powerful.

How Yoga Has Recently Changed My Life

Waking up early and doing yoga. So simple, but the sustained effort required is complicated.

Most of my yogic life I have practiced in the afternoon or evening, or whenever I can squeeze it in. Before I had my daughter, I had a regularly scheduled job, in which I wasn't willing to wake up at 6am for yoga before going to work, I'd do it later (common excuse that runs through the mind with anything that requires effort). Plus, doing it in the afternoon felt better. Muscles are awake, blood is flowing and was a great antidote to the workday life. Than I became mom. Yoga found its way in at nap times, in the afternoon. My daughter turns three this June and she has been sleeping soundly through the night for about two months now. Needless to say, I am too. Which means I can spend less time sleeping because the time I do sleep is really good restful sleep. In the mist of night after night of multiple wakings... I dreamt of a time when I would be able to wake up (well rested) before my daughter, about 6 or 6:30, do some yoga and wake up quietly so that my day would begin with ritual, with clarity and a feeling of being connected to myself and something greater.

A yogini's dream came true!

Benefits of my newly established daily morning practice:

• Calm and grounded. So much so, that it feels a little foreign. I sometimes find myself wanting more coffee because my nervous system has been so familiar with being on edge from inadequate sleep. 
• Radiant and more alive! Increased flow of life force energy or prana has been sent through my whole body and has ignited every cell. This happens during practice at anytime of day. But now I am able to enjoy the yoga glow for the entire day, rather than half the day.
• Mental clarity. Asana practice helps to dissipate excess, scattered mental energy throughout body. Having done this first thing, my mind is clear of what to-do's.
• Satisfaction or santosa. I no longer have to "think" or stress about how I will squeeze my practice into my day. I am able to be more present with people and circumstances. There is satisfaction in achieving a difficult task (like, getting out of bed and getting a sleepy body moving) that has really good health benefits. I feel happy and proud with my choice, which percolates into other areas of life too, resulting in better choices overall.
• Established effort, tapas. The more I do it, the more I cant live without it! Doing yoga at the same time everyday creates the habit. It requires the ability to see beyond the difficulty, and look into the benefits that come later. Once tapas is established it is like a steady burning fire that never goes out. Awareness is always present to add fuel to the fire to keep it going. 

Initiating a morning yoga practice

Some might be able to plan it and get the habit right away. Others, like myself, need to take steps to get it going. First, I made the decision to do it. I started to naturally wake up (I don't use an alarm) between the hours of 5-7am. Not that I would always wake up at that time. Many days I would lay there and think about doing yoga, and I'd fall back asleep, than wake up again about an hour later and would still have time to get up and do at least 20 minutes. It progressed into getting up when I first woke up. Yes, sometimes (but rarely now) it is 5am! It is best to wake up when you first wake in the morning, if you fall back asleep your body goes into another sleeping cycle which sometimes requires 2 hours, and typically we are obligated to wake up before than. So, we interrupt the cycle, waking up more tired and groggy.

Some of us depend on the alarm. I would suggest setting it earlier and earlier each day; 10 minutes each day until reached ideal wake up time. That means, maybe you only do 10-20 minutes of yoga to start. Maintaining that rhythm as long as your ready for more. Quality over quantity.

Secondly, I gave myself permission to do other morning rituals first before yoga. Brush teeth, scrape tongue, drink lemon juice water, neti pot, and yes, a cup of coffee. Than come to the mat.

Additional tips:

• find a video to help initiate and inspire; eventually moving into own practice
• get everything ready the night before; get tea/coffee and lemon water ready, clothes, set out yoga mat, prepare music if you practice with music.

Be gentle with yourself. Any amount of yoga practice is better than none; whether its 10 minutes in the morning or 10 minutes in afternoon...

Happy practice!