Monday, January 8, 2018

2018, I Am Listening

I feel like I'm late in the game of new years ritual, intention setting, goal setting, chanting of mantras and voicing dreams to the universe. Honestly, I wasn't ready.  There were birthdays, Christmas, dates with friends, teaching, chores, packing and preparations for travel. Life.

The ticking of time continues regardless of my conscious participation in it or not. Even when it feels like time is speeding beyond what I can keep up with, I am committed to being as present as possible in the moment. When life is full, the call to meditate, reflect and dream rings louder.

Reflection simply requires carving out empty space along times' continuum.

Whether it is January first, spring equinox, or middle of summer, I love to etch words in a cleanly swept slate, and offer the past to the fire. I do it whenever its necessary. Sometimes daily. Yet, there is value in taking a bit more time to reflect on an entire year and dream of whats to come in the next.
There is power in the collective momentum of the New Years resolve and a strong source of will power to fuel cleansing of bad habits.  Even though I unwittingly did not participate in any new years resolve, I am reflecting on how my time was spent leading up to it and when it turned over. 

I lay in bed, sick as hell, at my grandmothers house in Phoenix; nearly half way on our journey down south to Mexico. Its been awhile since I've actually been sick. I tend to seek messages in illness. Often it is physical manifestation of some unseen, unfelt, unexpressed energy. Energy moves and, if there is a block, accumulates, no matter what.  I had no choice but to surrender to whatever it was that needed to move through me in the form of fever, aches and pains. Knowing that I'd come out the other side feeling a sense of renewal. I always do.

In hindsight, I actually was unintentionally wiping the slate clean. An initiation into 2018 of sorts. I have no idea what 2018 has in store for me. And I don't want to pretend that I do, because life is unpredictable. To quote Mary Oliver, “Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.” 

All I know is what I am committed to. And I trust that my affirmed commitments will lend themselves to further alignment of my heart, my dharma with universal dharma, with Truth. And all I know is what is behind me and I am grateful for all of it.

I am committed to hearing, speaking and living truth; I am committed to being a present momma, a present wife to my very supportive loving husband. I am committed to serving others in seeking truth and honest expression of their hearts call. I am committed to my yoga and meditation practice which keeps me connected, grounded, and spacious. I am committed, with respect and reverence, to tending to the my Earth body and the Earth herself as the ground of being, as the altar of life,  as an expression of shakti.

If I had to choose a mantra for 2018 and offer it into the collective river of intention, it would be:
I am listening.