Muladhara chakra. The root. One of the most significant qualities of this foundational chakra is Trust. For me (and I know I am not alone), this has been a life long process of building strength, stability and a firm ground to stand on.
Trust is subjective, until it is second nature. To trust implies that there is something to trust in. At first, I learned to trust in many many external sources. It was a necessary experiment in the journey that ultimately led me to the bindu point of my heart. I trusted my family as they reflected back to me, who I am and who I was not and who I chose to become. I trusted my yoga teachers. I trusted my therapists when she told me what she saw. I painted the word TRUST on the entire side of the garage. I trusted the Swami in India when he intentionally neglected and ignored me when I asked for help and guidance.
It wasn't until I had my daughter that the trajectory of my big lesson on Trust started to shift from a longing for external validation to an internal knowing. Maybe part of it was I didn't have the time to occupy myself with so much doubt. It was no longer about me and my problems. There was no time to stew. I was responsible for another life. It was my duty and responsibility to ensure that this other little precious human could trust the world she just entered without an inkling of doubt. So the awakening and rebuilding of the root chakra began for me, as hers was only developing.
Trust is subjective, until it is second nature. To trust implies that there is something to trust in. At first, I learned to trust in many many external sources. It was a necessary experiment in the journey that ultimately led me to the bindu point of my heart. I trusted my family as they reflected back to me, who I am and who I was not and who I chose to become. I trusted my yoga teachers. I trusted my therapists when she told me what she saw. I painted the word TRUST on the entire side of the garage. I trusted the Swami in India when he intentionally neglected and ignored me when I asked for help and guidance.
Still, inside I crumbled with fear and doubt into a spiraling mess.
It wasn't until I had my daughter that the trajectory of my big lesson on Trust started to shift from a longing for external validation to an internal knowing. Maybe part of it was I didn't have the time to occupy myself with so much doubt. It was no longer about me and my problems. There was no time to stew. I was responsible for another life. It was my duty and responsibility to ensure that this other little precious human could trust the world she just entered without an inkling of doubt. So the awakening and rebuilding of the root chakra began for me, as hers was only developing.
As we bring the root chakra into consciousness this week, my experience at the ashram in India resurfaces. As it was the most potent lesson on trust for me.
Here is a excerpt from a blog post I wrote during my time there:
How do we trust our experiences are real, and are for our benefit to evolve? How do we trust ourselves when we have been shaken, stripped down to the core, when there is nothing to hold onto?
Trust begins when you're simply so tired of not trusting anymore. When you reach the threshold of mental conflict; when you start feeling motion sickness from waves of indecision; when force feeding yourself something that makes your stomach churn takes away every bit of energy to hold it down; and when your head hurts from banging it against the wall so many times.
"Enough already!" Screams your real Self.
Once this trust sets in and starts working, it is ultimate freedom. Freedom from worry and expectations; and freedom to really experience life in its grandeur and beauty.
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